Glammed up: Kerry Katona heading off to a christening yesterday
Kerry Katona has revealed the depth of her drug abuse for the first time in a tell-all interview.
The 29-year-old's role as a national sweetheart was eroded by increasingly erratic public behaviour - including her now notorious slurring appearance on This Morning in 2008 - and was finally blown away by pictures being published last year of the mother of four snorting cocaine in her bathroom.
Now, having left her husband Mark Croft and dropped from size 14 to size eight, Kerry says she wants to draw a line under the most shameful part of her life.
The former Atomic Kitten singer told the News of the World's Fabulous magazine: 'For the first time, I want to talk about everything - the drugs, my marriage break-up, everything.
'I feel shame, guilt, but also relief. I'm finally owning up to the person I've been these past few years. So much has been said about me and I don't think I can move on until I've drawn a line under it all.'
The Frank interview came as Kerry, who saw her £130,000 ad contract with Iceland terminated after her drugs shame, stepped out today looking slimmer and glammed up for the christening of a friend's baby.
In the interview, the singer said she had to take drastic action before her self-destructive lifestyle killed her.
She said: 'I hated my life. I'd lie in bed for three days in a row doing cocaine with Mark. We did coke in our en suite and had a lock on the door. The kids knew if the bathroom door was locked they mustn't come in.
'The children would be downstairs with a nanny and she knew not to let them up to our bedroom at those times.'
Fresh start: Kerry, seen yesterday attending a christening with friend Leanna, insists that she is clean from drugs and ready to move on
But now she has confessed to long binges with husband Mark - and sometimes just by herself - and the less-than glamorous lifestyle the pair shared.
'Our relationship was just about coke. Mostly we'd have three-day sessions and not eat. I'd play online bingo, look up s*** stories about me to make me feel worse, and watch cartoons.
'Mark would be on his Xbox and we'd go in and out of the bathroom for lines. I'd take so much coke I'd have a fit, then I'd come round and do another line.
'I had to stop, I had to get out. If I carried on doing what I was doing, I'd be dead.'
Getting shirty: Kerry takes Max to Mark Croft's car in her nightshirt and pink fluffy slippers earlier in the day before returning to the house to prepare for christening
But Kerry insists she was not dependent on the class A drug, instead buying it for her husband, mother and friends in a bid to be loved.
'I'm not an addict and I never have been. My problem is that I am so desperate to please, so desperate to make people love me, I'll do anything. Cocaine was the way I could make everyone happy.'
Destructive: Kerry with husband Mark Croft in 2008
'One day I took a razor and slashed my foot until it bled. I knew then that I'd hit rock bottomand I had to change my life.'
And Kerry is at least attempting to turn over a new leaf since splitting from husband Mark, who has always been held responsible for Kerry's bad financial situation and last month admitted he'd whittled away most of her fortune.
Kerry has signed with Peter Andre's management company Can Associates. Apparently, as part of her deal with the management company, she must submit to weekly drug tests and has signed a legal document banning her from her estranged husband.
And she is also back under the tutelage of Coronation Street star turned personal trainer Scott Wright and is filming a new reality TV show.
Last night her new agent Claire Powell defended her right to speak out.
She said: 'Kerry is desperate for change and to do the best for her children and deserves a chance to prove it.'